My post is late today, as I had to go to hospital for a scan and when I got home I found that my daughter had disappeared (when I say disappeared I mean that we couldn’t actually see her at that time. She had told babysitter Grandma that she was going to a friend’s house but wasn’t answering her phone, which is unusual). After approximately 10 minutes panic I found her safe and sound at her friend’s house, dancing around the garden giggling with three other girls, who were daring one another to flash their bras at passing cars.
So, that’s alright then.
Parenting duties done, I will now quickly tell you about my health problems, which should make for a scintillating post. Firstly, the scan was all good. My ovaries are fine, apparently, and as I already know I’m not pregnant. But for the past couple of weeks, I have been suffering from the most excruciating headaches, to the point that I have wondered if I could possibly have a brain tumour (straight to the worst-case scenario, that’s just how my brain works). I’ve been feeling permanently exhausted. My brain doesn’t work, and what’s more I’ve been hit by attacks of yawning at 3 o’clock every afternoon which just don’t respond to my usual remedy of a strong coffee.
In fact, I’ve been drinking more and more coffee, every day, simply to try to stay awake at my desk; but to no avail, all it does is make me feel worse because I add too much creamer, and then my stomach hurts as well as my head.
The manager with whom I share an office seems affected, too. He yawns more than he used to and sometimes has to open the window for a blast of fresh air to wake him up. I wonder if we have caught some terrible virus.
We have been drinking so much coffee that today at 3 o’clock, the tin was completely empty. I looked in the drawer where we keep huge cartons of coffee, ready to tip more granules into the tin. As I opened the carton, I notice that the colour of the label is green.
‘Oh, this is no good,’ I said ‘this is de-caffeinated. We need caffeine.’
I noticed that the carton was already depleted and the penny slowly began to drop
‘Hang on, is this what we’ve been drinking for the past two weeks?!’ I ask my office companion, and he nods. ‘NO WAY!!!’
‘Way,’ replies he, and laughs. He thinks that caffeine withdrawal is something to laugh at. I do not. I have learnt today that I NEED caffeine in order to function as a normal human being. I have learnt that luckily, I am not seriously ill. I have also learnt my daughter getting fresh air in the garden is not always a good thing. Hopefully that is as eventful as this day is going to get.
Hope that you’ve had a good day. Have you ever had caffeine withdrawal and did you, too, think you were seriously ill?